Have you ever left a business meeting with a deep feeling of resentment?

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If you did, then probably:
– it hit your productivity
– the conversation didn’t achieve what was most needed and would have been most useful
– your resentment was being communicated, one way or the other, but not usefully
– you weren’t the only person with issues about that meetings

Every time I teach on ‘productive conversations’ – as I did recently for the level 7 systems thinking apprenticeship – I remember how bloody important it is. This is the ‘secret’, extremely obvious human issue which most impacts hashtag#Leadership hashtag#Innovation hashtag#ChangeManagement

So much of the quality of our experience – and the quality of our results – depends on practising the skills and rituals that can actually make conversations meaningful.

Here are some of those practices:
– Check-in: It’s not just about being present, it’s about being engaged. How are you really entering the space?

– Advocacy vs Inquiry: Are you stating your point or genuinely seeking to understand? It’s a dance between expressing and exploring.

– The Ladder of Inference: We all climb it, but are we aware of the steps? Understanding our thought process is key to breaking down barriers.

– Framing: How we view a situation dictates our actions. Are you stuck in a frame that’s limiting your perspective?

– Defensive Routines: They’re the silent killers of growth. Are we protecting our ego at the cost of learning?

Too often, we fall into the trap of traditional virtues in conversations—support without challenge, respect without honesty, and team play without questioning. These can lead to sterile interactions that stifle growth and innovation.

Instead, let’s embrace learning virtues:
– Support: Help others see gaps in their logic and alert them to unintended consequences.
– Respect: Assume others are well-motivated and capable of learning.
– Team Play: Express concerns and inquire into others’ logic to foster mutual understanding.

Creating a robust culture where ideas flow freely and challenges are welcomed is no easy feat, but it’s the cornerstone of innovation and progress. It’s about moving from a ‘preserve/protect’ mindset to one that ‘allows/adapts’ and ultimately thrives.

What’s one step you can take today to foster more productive conversations in your workspace? Drop your thoughts below and let’s… have a conversation…

[Material as always from Argyris, Schon, the Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, and other solid 20th Century sources! I share many slides here, as usual, in case someone has fun with them – but they do lack the full context of how I present them]