Kegan and Laskow Lahey’s Immunity to Change is a beautiful simple practice which goes really deep.
Take a piece of paper with five spaces:
1) commitment to change
A thing you really want to do — lose ten kilos, transform your sales.
A netural, factual description of a change that really implicates you, that you feel in your gut
2) your *actual* behaviours that in fact prevent that goal from being achieved
….a *need* for four square meals a day, being too busy with other admin…
3) if you stopped doing (2), what would you most worry about?
….being deprived of reward/not keeping up with the admin…
4) the competing commitment that justifies and explains (3) — the real reason why it’s *important* to you
…reward for all the work/fear of not being enough
5) big assumption that makes (4) *absolutely necessary*?
…I need and deserve rewards/I’m not enough
It can be surprisingly emotional!
THEN take SMART action, over time — rich and generous and compassionate:
– Research stance (all about learning)
…get to the deep roots of why you aren’t achieving your goals, get generous with the *really good* reasons behind it, then gently work at that level.
#change #immunitytochange #compassion
One thought on “Being compassionate to ourselves turns out to be a powerful lever for change”
Dangerous advice. I would endorse this only if ‘the subject’ had a skilled helper facilitating the exercise.
How can you assume that your readers have the necessary skills, etc?